Only Fake Facts

Vol. I, No. 16 Wednesday, November 4, 2026 Fact-checked, and found false

The archive

Every story we have printed, 16 so far, newest first. All of them are false.

  1. No. 016 Toast lands butter-side down because bread remembers being dough and wants to lie flat on the counter again. Food False
  2. No. 015 The letter Q was added to the alphabet as a joke, and nobody remembered to take it out. Language False
  3. No. 014 Cheese with holes is aged in cellars full of very small, very polite mice who never finish a bite. Food False
  4. No. 013 Owls cannot really turn their heads all the way round; they turn the world, very slightly, instead. Animals False
  5. No. 012 Clocks ran counterclockwise until 1504, when everyone agreed to switch over on the same afternoon. History False
  6. No. 011 The kazoo was invented to settle an argument between two bees. History False
  7. No. 010 Fog is a cloud that has given up. Weather False
  8. No. 009 Saturn's rings are made mostly of lost car keys. Space False
  9. No. 008 Cats domesticated humans around 7500 BC, mainly for the thumbs. Animals False
  10. No. 007 Wi-Fi travels faster through a room that has been vacuumed recently. Technology False
  11. No. 006 A yawn is your body downloading the rest of the day. The body False
  12. No. 005 Switzerland is folded up every night and unfolded at dawn, which is why it is so mountainous. Geography False
  13. No. 004 Glass is just sand that has been told a secret. Science False
  14. No. 003 The first library fine was paid in live geese, in 1132. History False
  15. No. 002 The Moon is about four per cent smaller on Tuesdays. Space False
  16. No. 001 Flamingos are pink because they are mildly embarrassed at all times. Animals False